I spent the first six years and four kids of my marriage as a working mom. Everytime we were expecting, my husband and I would agree that after the baby was born I would finally be a full time, stay at home mom. This is ultimately what my heart desired, and we felt this was best for our family.
Before we knew it, our new addition would be turning six months. This also seemed to be the time in which I became doubtful of what I was truly contributing to our home. What was my purpose? Was I really going to waste away and “just be a mom”? What would people think of me? I can still recall some of the things people, strangers at that, would say.. “You seem like such a smart woman, but you have so many kids. What a waste.” “You’re a professional baby maker.” “You’re a stay at home mom? Better you than me.” Sticks and stones, I know… But when you’ve just had a baby, you’re in the thick of postpartum confusion, and your confidence is shot those words can set you back to some pretty dark places that fill you with insecurity and self-pity. So, I threw on my corporate hat, cried the night before I knew I would be leaving my little ones, and convinced myself that my reason for leaving them was that I was waiting. Waiting because we needed the extra income. Waiting because we needed a little more in our savings. Waiting for one more reason—a sign that would convince others me that being a mom was enough. And then, I realized it was. It always was, and is, enough….
Becoming a new mother has so many challenges and choices. Bottle or breastfeed, cloth or disposable diapers, co-sleep or crib sleep. And in the midst of everything there’s just “us”— women, wives, humans. But we become lost, we’re alone even in a room full of people, we’re ashamed, and we feel guilty for feeling guilty. I mean, how many ways can one person feel guilty? And these are the things that rob us of the joy that really is motherhood.
If we could just believe that we’re enough!! Every sleepless night with your little one is enough. The days where you find yourself too exhausted to eat or shower but somehow muster up the strength to feed and bathe your baby is enough. Rocking him to sleep until your body aches on a night he can’t be consoled is enough. Crying in the shower wondering if you can do it all one more day is enough. Smiling through your most difficult moments for your older children is enough. Praying through tears for your little ones is enough.. We. Are. Enough.
Working moms take on some pretty steep challenges, and I realize in many homes it isn’t a choice. I also understand the mommas that are career oriented and choose to go back to work. But, I pray that the decision that you make is made with the firm belief that God makes no mistakes. And, if He gave you the nurturing heart of a mother you can rest assured that It. Is. Absolutely. Enough…
After all, “The hand that rocks the cradle, is the hand that rules the world.”
Jenn
