It’s funny how the insignificant things surrounding us can have such significance. While every morning is a new beginning, I pretty much know what my day holds– there will be tantrums wrapped in a two year old body, meals will be prepared (several times a day), tears will roll down little children’s cheeks (and sometimes my own), we’ll learn something new during school, and there will be too much a lot of coffee involved. One could easily say, my life is pretty predictable–some might even deem it down right pitiful.
Today I walked into my boy’s room, mop in hand, to tackle one of the many mundane tasks on my list. I began to pick up the Legos strewn across the floor, found some dirty socks under the bed, and swept up the dust. Then I came to my toddlers bed that’s tucked away in the corner of the room– I neatly placed the blanket over his tiny mattress, fluffed the pillows, and tidied up the curtain above his bed. When I finished I couldn’t help but admire this little corner, and I found myself smiling with my entire self. I couldn’t help but reach for my phone and snap a picture.
When I was done cleaning up, I walked out of the room and caught myself admiring this image– I even took a second to make the picture brighter since the room was dark. I smiled again, but this time I had a feeling of underlined embarrassment. The fact that I took the time to find my phone and capture that moment felt silly. Why did “nothing” have so much meaning in the middle of my busy day? How hopelessly simple and vague had I become Surrounded by children, and babies, and board games, and cookies, and illustrated books that begin with “Once Upon A Time”?… I wondered how people outside of “The Mommy Community” might see me– If I were to engage in conversations that weren’t on the matters of breastfeeding, homeschooling, or being a wife– would they consider my opinions? Do they consider me at all?
This life is tricky, there really isn’t a better word to describe it. We are surrounded by a world that is inundated with ways we can get involved and make it better. There are books, articles, websites, and petitions created for the sole purpose of fixing what people and time have done to the place we call home. There are rehabilitation facilities for men and women that have lost their way, and “Safe Places” for teens that have no where to turn. Yet, there are countless women, similar to myself, questioning their worthiness and abilities while we are literally shaping the future. But what if everyone believed we were created for such a time as this–Not to shield our kids from the big bad world (although I’m often told it must be the reason I homeschool) but to raise them up to go out, roll up their sleeves, and get to work. It’s what I fervently pray for.
This is why in the corner of that quaint little room, I felt happiness in the middle of the day. Standing there, surrounded by nothing, I found purpose. I know that may seem like a stretch, but in that space sleeps people I’ve been chosen to love unconditionally– to help shape into productive, God loving citizens. Although it’s easy to forget, I cannot imagine a greater task. One day they’ll be husbands and fathers. One day they’ll be responsible for shaping the future while raising children they’ve been entrusted. That picture is valuable and speaks volumes to my calling, because one day I’ll walk into that room, and it will be empty– I hope my picture will then remind me of my biggest accomplishments.
When I glanced over the picture once more, and I looked a little deeper, I also felt a personal sense of pride; as the curtains draped over the windows and the pillows that lay on that bed were made with my very own hands– it’s a reminder of my willingness to try new things albeit as simple as it may seem. They are goals I’ve always wanted to accomplish and it’s the reason you’re reading this today as I try my hand at writing. It’s a reminder that I’m not afraid to fail or try new things, and my children are witness to this.
Those rooms that exist in our homes are more than just a dwelling our babies sleep and wake in everyday… And the “silly” picture I took in the middle of “nothing”, means everything to me. It is a testament to my life, and I’ll remember this the next time I have trouble finding my purpose.
Jenn
